Dick Enberg and Dick Stockton have a lot in common. They both have the same first names, have covered basketball, the Super Bowl (Stockton commentates for the international viewers, GASP!), NCAA Tournament games…..and they are 278 years old.

Last month I called for Enberg to retire because well….his senility is not meant for the sweet 16.

Dick Stockton, come on down!

I beg of you to retire because it’s quite clear your announcing skills have eroded from your days at CBS, when you didn’t have to do boring 76-72 NBA games, but 176-172 games. Your player recognition is horrible, and last night took the cake.

“Sasha Varejao is in the game for the Cavaliers….excuse me….Sasha Pavlovic.”

Cleveland could’ve used the new player combination because Sasha is a good shooter and Varejao is tall. Still, that’s an inexcusable mistake to make. Stockton also said that the Celtics/Cavaliers did not disappoint. That’s right, a game in which LeBron James, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen went a combined 4-36, we had a GREAT game. Maybe it’s the director telling him what to say, but I doubt it.

He constantly makes factual errors, which is bad because you’re supposed to have the stat sheet with you. I mean, it’s not like Mike Fratello is helping him either.

“Remember, Boston still has fouls to give.” - MF

“One foul to give for the Celtics.” - DS

Stockton’s other big problem is that he stumbles way too often and has no idea what is going on. I’m at home, sitting on the couch and I know what happened on a play.

“Ahead to Pavlovic……and he is……..fouled.”

Just do that 50 times and you have Dick Stockton in a nutshell. TNT should cease using him from calling playoff games and at least get someone like Kevin Calabro (Sonics announcer) or somebody who has some free time.

Whether it’s football, basketball, baseball, Mr. Stockton, you are dangerously reaching Pat Summerall senility and need to be removed from the broadcasting booth.