VIDEO: Look, Something Interesting From the ESPY’s

Holy crap it’s been 2 weeks since the country had to endure another rousing rendition of the painfully awkward and extremely unfunny joke of an award ceremony that is the ESPY’s. Luckily, Global Sports Fraternity sent a special guest to LA to make sure that something remotely decent came out of the annual wreckage.

It’s not just any guest of honor, it’s AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) basketball player of the year Isiah Jones that got the coveted press pass. He did a fantastic job and had some funny moments. Here’s just one sample:

The part where he compliments Gulbis was great. Jones’  barber looks like Derrick Rose and should probably be paid the same amount to get through that afro. That is just sick.

He’s a funny man and a solid b’ball player. Amazing that GSF snagged him and the press passes. I probably laughed more watching this video than watching the entire award show.

There are some more videos you can find on GSF’s website (which I’ve already linked to), or go to their youtube page.

What the Losers Are Saying….Returning in September!

I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t have a ton of writing-power in the good ol’ noggin at the moment and I’m just trying to dive into a tub of ice to avoid the 100 degree heat that hit the Seattle Area 2 days ago.

So as a highly-lazy post/announcement, the famous and popular quote-and-link feature we knew and loved back in May and June will make a come back in September.

WTLAS will be a staple of the new NFL season here on Stupid Sideline Reporters. Starting on Tuesday, September 15th, you can check here for fan reaction after their favorite team LOST. So the Lions, Broncos, and Raiders will be regulars here.

Note that for time’s sake I will choose somewhere between 5-8 losers per week instead of going full-throttle for every game. I don’t aim for “I can’t wait until next season”, I aim for “FIRE ANDY REID NOW!“.

WTLAS will not stop at just blogs this season. Forums and other message boards will be tapped for either decent insight or outright hilarity for post-game reaction. Don’t worry, when it’s posted here credit will be given to the original writer.

In conclusion be on the lookout for special college football editions of WTLAS as well. You never know what gold you’ll come across.

There are a few other major surprises that will be announced in the coming weeks.

Just 6 weeks away from a new season of What the Lions Losers Are Saying!

Frustration, Irritation, Humiliation, Agitation, Etc……

I figured I might as well put up a facepalm picture to illustrate how I feel watching Toronto FC play.

I’m just a sucker for punishment.

It should come as no surprise that once again in a big game TFC did the proverbial crapping of the bed last night in leg 1 of the CONCACAF Champions League preliminary round against the Puerto Rico Islanders of the USL. They lost 1-0 at home and played some some snooze-inducing football that can only be used as a future cure for insomnia.

The preliminary winner advances to the group stage phase of the competition, and away goals count as double. So tiebreaking rules suggest TFC have to at least score 2 goals in the return fixture in Puerto Rico to have a chance at advancing to group stage.

While it’s entirely possible that they could pull this off, I wouldn’t be surprised if yet again TFC choked in the clutch.

It’s no surprise that on Saturday they could’ve been in 1st place of the Eastern Conference in MLS by beating rivals Columbus C**w. They were up 2-1 with just minutes remaining in the game and managed to hand the C**w the game 3-2 in stoppage time.

It’s no surprise that Toronto has allowed 10 goals in the final 15 minutes in MLS games this season, leading the league in that category. Of course, TFC has only scored 15 goals in the 2nd half all season.

As a result of that they’ve dropped 10 points giving up those late goals. They sure could use those 10 points now because right now they’re currently out of the playoffs should the season end today.

It’s no surprise that after 3 years there has never been a game-winning goal scored in the final 15 minutes in TFC’s history. It really is not. This team consistently runs around during crunch time like a bunch of headless chickens instead of gathering themselves to play some decent football on a consistent basis.

But don’t worry, Mo Johnston is apparently getting a 2 year contract extension. I’d give you the link but I refuse to post that drivel on here today.

How much longer are people willing to hang onto the fact that he has a great record in the draft? I remember when Laurent Robert played like he couldn’t give two craps about his performance as long as it equalled a paycheck.

Enough is enough.

If there is no win in Puerto Rico next week that should be one foot out the door for Mister Mo. Right now I have no more faith that this team can make a splash in the playoffs. Heck I don’t even think they can make the playoffs at this rate.

This team has no composure defending or attacking in front of goal. The passing is atrocious and the set pieces are comical. I won’t even mention the kamikaze defending that has doomed TFC time and time again.

I’m just about ready for change.

I just hope the players and management bring it too. Because three years is plenty of time to build a successful MLS franchise. And instead the fans are treated to a bunch of midtable mediocrity.

I’m not complacent with that at all.

Remember this quote from Mo Johnston from earlier this year.

“This squad is good enough.”

ESPN UK Snags MLS Rights

It’s already known that the MLS is considered a joke around the world….because it pretty much is. But that won’t stop ESPN from shoving it down your throat!

ESPN has secured TV rights to show football from the German, Russian, Portuguese and Dutch top divisions, alongside the remainder of the US Major League Soccer season.

Coverage from the four leagues for 2009/10 – and the rest of the MLS action up to November – will be shown on the firm’s forthcoming ESPN channel, along with its English Premier League and Scottish Premier League matches.

The MLS coverage will include five playoff games to the end of the season, alongside action from the MLS Cup championship and ten matches featuring David Beckham’s LA Galaxy, starting with their tie against New England on August 8 at 11pm

I bet you the major point of getting the MLS on ESPN UK was the Beckham factor.

Well listen Europe, you’re going to have to listen to JP Dellacamera and John Harkes yak for 90 minutes on anything else about the game! You think that’s bad? Listen to Rob Stone and Alexi Lalas and you’ll go crazy! Then couple that with the stunningly mediocre play of the MLS and you got yourself one fantastic league!

At least those games are late at night so it would be a great pick-up for insomniacs.

Derek Rae to Call SPL Games For ESPN UK

Photo from ESPN.

With ESPN now completely out of the loop for the UEFA Champions League, it seems as if the loss of Derek Rae’s bread-and-butter has given him another job. The 42 year old Scotsman may be commentating on Scottish Premier League games for ESPN UK:

DEREK Rae is poised to become the voice of Scottish football once again as ESPN negotiate a homecoming for the Stateside commentator as part of their 30-game Clydesdale Bank Premier League coverage.

The Herald understands that the 42-year-old, based in Bristol, Connecticut, has been offered the chance to commentate on the station’s SPL coverage on an ad-hoc basis without hindering his commitments across the Atlantic.

Rae joined ESPN Inter­national after the World Cup in the USA in 1994 and has become one of the most distinctive and respected voices on the channel’s football cover­age in the States.

As well as Major League ­Soccer, Rae also lent his expertise to ESPN’s Cham­pions League coverage – they have since lost the rights to Fox Sports – and hosts a weekly magazine show, PressPass.

Great opportunity for Rae to work on SPL games while staying here. ESPN has plenty of unemployed Setanta talent to hire but they stayed in-house.  I wish him the best of luck and exposure in the United Kingdom. I’m certain the folks across the pond will not be disappointed.

Marcelo Balboa is Inexplicably Back

I’ll get to the disastrous thumping in yesterday’s Gold Cup in another post. But right now I think this news trumps yesterday.

For those who don’t know, NBC Universal had the rights to the upcoming crucial World Cup qualifier between the US and Mexico at the Azteca Stadium. Since NBC couldn’t care about what the viewer thinks (hence why their ratings suck), so they tried to sell it to good ol’ ESPN, who normally handle USMNT games. Sadly, ESPN wasn’t interested in paying a pretty penny for a qualifier that could see Mexico either extend their unbeaten streak in qualifiers against the US or be in grave danger of missing the World Cup altogether.

So NBC Universal stuck it on some digital channel that I bet very few people know even existed. No problem, you can watch on Univision right? Well it’s NBC Universal so they put the Spanish-language option on Telemundo.

To get to the point of this post, Mun2 has chosen their announcers for the English-language broadcast, and I’d get a barf bag if I were you when you look at this blockquote…

*The Insider has learned that GolTV’s Phil Schoen and former USA defender Marcelo Balboa will form the English-language announcing team for the USA-Mexico World Cup qualifier Aug. 12 on mun2, the cable outlet operated by Telemundo. Andres Cantor and Sammy Sadovnik will do commentary on Spanish-language Telemundo. The Spanish duo will be on site in Mexico City, the English tandem will not. The English audio will be available on Telemundo for those who have Secondary Audio Programming (SAP) capability.

Marcelo was part of the terrible tandem of Dave O’Brien/Babbleboa for the 2006 World Cup on ESPN.

My absolute hatred for Balboa’s insane and nonsensical “analysis” has been documented here for a long time. Actually don’t even go here and just type in his name on Google and you’ll find out why he is a disaster.

Phil Schoen ain’t that much better either. Listen to him and Ray Hudson for 2 minutes on GolTV and you’ll be reaching for the mute button.

So a huge WCQ is being shoved to a digital channel with two bad announcers who aren’t even going to be at the game. Fantastic job of crapping the bed NBC Universal.

Time to brush up n my Spanish because I’ll be listening to Andres Cantor.

UFL’s Las Vegas Team Already Waving White Flag

I give the UFL no more than 1 season before it folds.

Hey Look JFein is Back!

I’m not going to lie to you, there is absolutely nothing of significance to write about in the sports world. Why do you think I’ve written just 14 “posts” this month?

But that won’t stop me from welcoming back live-blogging partner, regular commenter, and your source for why Andy Reid should be fired during the football seasons, JFein from Fire Andy Reid Now!

If you haven’t seen him here or updating his blog the last several days (and instead  these two folks substituted) he has been in Germany on vacation.

Please welcome him back and read about his journeys while there.

Ron Franklin Likely Retiring After April 2010

This is really unfortunate news to announce. It seems that the true class acts of journalism and sports broadcasting have either passed on or have retired. It was reported a few days ago that ESPN college football and college basketball announcer Ron Franklin is planning on retirement after 22 years with the network.

After 44 years in sportscasting and 22 years at ESPN, Franklin, said he’s “98.5 percent sure” he will retire after broadcasting the 2010 NIT championship.

“I think this is going to be my last rodeo,” he said this week. “I will not miss the travel. It’s just really beginning to beat me up. Obviously, I’ll miss the people — the coaches, the players, you get to know so many people.”

Franklin, 67, who has had a few run-ins with ESPN executives in recent years, said he planned to continue to do some television work in his hometown of Austin, Texas.

“I’m going to stay active down here and do some commercial work,” he said.

This makes me sad. His voice is synonymous with SEC football and Big XII basketball for me. Perhaps his work reduction and being on the lower rung of ESPN’s announcing ladder was writing on the wall. Very rarely do you ever hear a bad game called from him.

I wish him the best in retirement and family life once he hangs up the microphone and headset for good.

So savor what you can from September 2009 to April 2010. A great announcer is leaving the airwaves soon and I hope his final season is successful and more memorable than in years past.

Nash Set to Go Ringless For Next 2 Years

In a tragic case of picking imminent failure over any other elite team that could easily give him a shot at an NBA title, star point guard Steve Nash is staying with the Suns by extending his contract for two more years!

The 35-year-old point guard has agreed to a two-year contract extension with the Suns worth an estimated $22 million US, according to ESPN.

Nash is expected to make the announcement official on his Twitter account later Monday.

Nash, who grew up in Victoria, will make $31.1 million this season, after which he was set to become an unrestricted free agent. The two-time league MVP would have attracted plenty of attention on the open market next summer.

I love watching Nash play, but it’s miserable to see him have his valiant and superb efforts out on the court wasted by playing on “good but not great” Phoenix Suns teams. The glory days of always being in title contention are over. No more Shaq. No more Shawn Marion. No more Boris Diaw. Potentially no more Amare Stoudemire.

Nash stuck out through all of this, and I respect him for that. However the Suns are pretty much dead as long as Steve Kerr continues to make some mind-boggling stupid decisions. It’s a blow up and rebuild phase in waiting and I feel sorry that Nash has to be a part of this impending ride through mediocrity.