A List of Stupid Things Phil Simms Uttered Yesterday

"For a field goal to be successful, the football has to split the two uprights and be above the crossbar!"

I don’t think I’ve heard a worse NFL commentary this season than Phil Simms’ analysis on the Pittsburgh @ Denver playoff game. It was breathtakingly stupid at best and filled with “stating the obvious” quotes and not knowing the rules of the game.

Here is just a sample of what caught my attention (and millions on Twitter obviously) from the CBS broadcast:

1.) “Denver fans are doing a good job of drowning out the Steelers fans!” – Well given that it’s a Denver home game and the Broncos were winning at the time of this comment, I’d definitely say it’s not a shock.

2.) “For it to be a forward pass, it’s got to go….forward!” on the Ben Roethlisberger backwards pass to Mike Wallace (ruled incomplete). He gets paid a six-figure salary to do this.

3.) “That’s a good timeout by the Denver Broncos, because the clock stops.” – Way to go, gumshoe!

4.) I did not have an exact quote for this, but he actually argued on the aforementioned 3rd quarter Ben Roethlisberger backwards pass that John Fox elected not to challenge that particular play because Pittsburgh would’ve only lost 1/2 yard according to him. The throw and subsequent fumble would have cost Pittsburgh about 5 yards, but they would have retained possession.

5.) “I’d try a 67 yard field goal” – Late in the 4th quarter with the game tied at 23-23, Phil Simms actually suggested Shaun Suisham kick a 67 yard field goal because of the thin Denver air. This is the single stupidest comment he made, which is saying something.

Shaun Suisham is 4-11 from 50+ yards and has made zero field goals from 53 yards or longer. If the longest field goal he’s made is 52 yards and he has a terrible record of hitting ones from long-range, why would Pittsburgh even entertain the thought of anything like that? Worst case scenario is the kick gets blocked and returned for a touchdown or the kick comes up short and leaves a chance for a Devin Hester/Chris McAllister type of runback.

The odds of a Hail Mary touchdown from the Denver 49 is WAY more likely than making a field goal 6 yards longer than the NFL record. Seriously, why were he and Jim Nantz going through great lengths discussing this in the final minute of regulation?

That was a truly horrendous broadcast to get through, and I normally like CBS.

I know I’m leaving out other pearls of nonsense but I can’t remember all of his stupidity. I’ll leave you with video of Simms’ forward pass knowledge.

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6 thoughts on “A List of Stupid Things Phil Simms Uttered Yesterday

  1. Wave

    At least when Madden stated the obvious again and again, he made up for it with a wacky voice and demeanor.

    Reply
  2. JW

    “The odds of a Hail Mary touchdown from the Denver 49 is WAY more likely than making a field goal 6 yards longer than the NFL record.”

    Rich Eisen had the line of the week concerning this. “You have to know you can’t beat Tebow with a Hail Mary.”

    Reply
  3. Wave

    In case you are not going to write about the BCS NCG, I will say this.

    Years from now, when we look back on that game, the question may not be how a team that slayed so many bowl winners put up the worst offensive performance in BCS title history. The question may really be, how did a team with QBs Jarrett Lee and Jordan Jefferson, and an offense that couldn’t crack 100 yards against Alabama, ever manage to win 13 games and the SEC championship?

    Reply
    1. Mookie Post author

      I intentionally decided not to write a thing about it.

      And Jordan Jefferson/Jarrett Lee is the worst QB duo to ever make it to a championship game. Les Miles deserves what he recruits.

      Reply
  4. Pingback: The Footbawl Blog’s First Annual End of the Season (Alternative) Awards | thefootbawlblog

  5. Pingback: Boldin or bust: Chunk plays led to the Colts’ undoing - Unofficial Network

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