Category Archives: Team Reviews

Seahawks Obliterate Sheep

There is bad, and then there is really bad. The Rams, looked horrific.

Seahawks 33 Rams 6: The 2 game losing skid is over for Seattle, as the Hawks romped over St. Louis 33-6 to send the Rams to 0-7.

Recap: Matt Hasselbeck started great, cooled off, then finished strong as Seattle took a 10-3 halftime lead, and turned it into a blowout. Hasselbeck finished 18-35, with 2 touchdowns to backup tight end Will Heller, and one interception. After St. Louis went three and out on their opening possession, Seattle drove right down the field on a 11 play, 71 yard drive that lead to the easy one yard Heller TD catch. St. Louis responded, but could only contribute 3 points 2 drives later. Hasselbeck and Bulger each had a pick in the 2nd quarter, Seattle kicked a FG and the Hawks, who dominated the 1st half, had just a slim 7 point lead. That gave me that “We’re going to throw away another easy game at home” feeling.

Opening kick of the 2nd half, Nate Burleson, who returned a punt for a TD last year in their 24-22 win over the Rams, returned the ball 91 yards for his 1st career KO return for a touchdown. So it’s 17-3, game seems to be shifting further away from the Rams. They march down the field, kick a field goal…..those were the last points they would get. The Rams turned it over 4 times in the 2nd half, and 5 in the game, and that prevented any comeback. So Seattle continues this field goal binge, until another interception, this one by Julian Peterson, keyed another TD pass to Heller, to seal the game, and make it 33-6.

Shaun Alexander Watch: Uhhhhhh….

By the numbers:

  • 5 turnovers by St. Louis (3 picks, 2 fumbles), and all of them were caused by Marc Bulger.
  • 7 sacks on Bulger. Seattle had 16 sacks all season, and they get 7 in a game.
  • 4 sacks by Darryl Tapp. The 2nd year player out of Virginia Tech had to wear a cast because of an injured right hand, but he had 4 sacks, a forced fumble, and a deflected pass.
  • 47 rushing yards by Shaun Alexander on 19 carries.
  • 42 rushing yards by backup Maurice Morris on 10 carries.
  • 2nd in the league in sacks is Julian Peterson, who added to his total with one today.
  • 4 inches that Seattle couldn’t make on an early 4th and inches play. Walrus calls a stretch play, loses a yard with Morris, St. Louis kicks FG after that.

Offensive player of the game: Matt Hasselbeck. The Seahawks defense really won that game, but he has 11 touchdowns versus 6 picks (2 were deflected in the Bengals game) on the season.

Defensive player of the game: Darryl Tapp. 4 sacks, 1 deflected pass, 1 forced fumble, he was just brilliant.

Special teams player of the game: Nate Burleson. Need I say more?

What’s Next: Seattle @ Cleveland (11/4), St. Louis vs. Cleveland (10/28)

Reviewing the AFC East teams in the form of Haiku

This is it. This is the final NFL division that I review in the form of haiku.


Miami Dolphins

Dolphin fans know this

Nick Saban=Turncoat

At least Joey left.

Buffalo Bills

Not a bad season

Not too far from the playoffs

Fan support sucks though

New York Jets

A magical year

For their new coach Mangini

Chris Berman joke here

New England Patriots

Pats fans are quite shocked

That the great Tom Brady has

Kids with both models

So there you have it. All 32 teams compiled in an 8 part series. Tuesday, you’ll get every NFL division post on the sidebar. If Joe Buck was a……. will return on Tuesday as well, with Buck doing boxing.

Reviewing the AFC North teams in the form of Haiku

Cleveland Browns

QB Carousel

They don’t seem to want to win

For 15 years strong

Cincinnati Bengals

Failed to reach goals

They may star in the movie

The Longest Yard 3

Baltimore Ravens

How did they not win?

McNair’s arrested on DUI

Please don’t teach Troy Smith

Pittsburgh Steelers

Ben Roethlisberger

Wild offseason, poor year

Cowher’s chin resigns

Reviewing the AFC South teams in the form of Haiku

Indianapolis Colts

Manning wins it all

Dungy makes some history

Brady helped their cause

Tennessee Titans

They started poorly

Vince Young turns it all around

Then Pacman screws up

Jacksonville Jaguars

Many Injuries

Mainly all their quarterbacks

and then Fred Taylor

Houston Texans

They get rid of Carr

Could’ve been even better

If they picked Vince Young

Reviewing the AFC West teams in the form of Haiku

Yay, I’m halfway done! So let’s begin the AFC with the west.

Denver Broncos

I’ll skip the sad parts

But the good news they now have

Is that Plummer is gone!

San Diego Chargers

They’ve learned their lesson

Never hire a coach named

M. Schottenheimer

Kansas City Chiefs

Manning stopped their dream

But they should hold their heads high

Unless you’re Trent Green

Oakland Raiders

Wow! That was awful!

I am surprised at the fact

That they won 2 games.

Reviewing the NFC South teams in the form of Haiku

Today we finish off the NFC poetry with the South.

New Orleans Saints

A memorable year

Emotions were very high

Wish they’d won it all

Carolina Panthers

They are boring

Steve Smith is the only star

Jake Delhomme sucks now

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Many injuries

Gruden is now in trouble

Time for Plan Chucky?


Atlanta Falcons

The star is Mike Vick

But he is only thinking

Who let the dogs out?

Editor’s Note: I know this wasn’t funny, but the NFC South was pretty uneventful outside of the Saints. I’m sorry, and the AFC should be funnier.