Because Of Course: Toronto FC Forward Danny Koevermans Out For Season

Cursed.

Toronto FC has managed a two-game winning streak in MLS play for the first time all season and for a whopping 3rd time in the last 3 seasons. They’re playing better at times to give you the idea that there is hope after all, but still playing badly enough to get stuffed by the formerly awful Philadelphia Union. Well reality has set in that good things always come to an abrupt end for Toronto, as forward Danny Koevermans blew out his ACL in a 1-0 win in New England. He is out for the year, and with that, Toronto’s offense is sunk.

Toronto coach Paul Mariner had feared the worst, and that’s what he got Monday.

An MRI revealed that key striker Danny Koevermans, injured in a collision Saturday with New England defender A.J. Soares, has a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee.

The 33-year-old Dutchman will be out the rest of the season and could miss a chunk of the next one given the normal lengthy recovery time for ACL surgery.

 

Koevermans is the only consistent goal-scorer and possibly one of the best attackers in Toronto FC history. At 33 with a serious knee injury, those days are essentially over. There is no depth at forward for TFC so I can’t see things improving from here. Koevermans is more or less responsible for the minor resurgence in the last few weeks, and now he’s gone for a long long long time.

I have no words. We are the MLS equivalent of the Cleveland Browns. What other team in this league has suffered a combination of bad luck, injuries, and dumbass management for an extended period of time? Only Toronto FC can make 6 years feel like 60.

Time to brace for impact as I can sense our annual summer meltdown coming now that there is absolutely no one who can fill Koevermans’ role, much less score 6 goals in 5 games like DK did.

Wheels Are Off: Toronto FC Players Jailed After Drunken Fight

Toronto FC is 1-0-10 and on pace for the worst record in the history of MLS, possibly the worst record in the history of top flight football in the entire world including the well-known Antarctic Premier League. With another loss coming up against Houston on Wednesday, Luis Silva, Nick Soolsma, and Miguel Aceval all decided to encapsulate everything that’s wrong with the club with a stupid drunken brawl.

Three Toronto FC players have been charged with public intoxication after police said they got in a fight outside a Houston nightclub and then argued with officers.

Police spokeswoman Jodi Silva says Miguel Aceval, Nick Soolsma and Luis Silva were jailed after the incident early Monday in the parking lot of the Club Escobar. Toronto FC plays the Houston Dynamo here on Wednesday night.

Silva says the three players were involved in a “large fight” outside the club about 2:30 a.m. Officers intervened, Silva says, and the three players “refused to leave the location and became belligerent” with police. One player, Silva says, tried to flee the scene on foot, but was caught. No one else was arrested.

Sure why not? Losing season, interim coach, now bad behavior from the players. I give up with this bunch. This is where the lack of promotion/relegation bites you in the ass. Toronto FC is so dysfunctional that they should not even be in MLS. They need to be in the NASL and stat and then work their way up. It is humiliating to watch this garbage week after week and honestly I hope that the fans start protesting Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. Why? Because Raptors, Leafs, Argonauts,  and TFC. That’s why. They are terrible owners not bringing in quality sides and are only interested in daylight robbery of the spectators they rip off with crap like Toronto FC. I don’t care about their other teams as I’m not Canadian, but good GOD isn’t six years enough to not suck?

I’m not going to bother lashing out at the players or the incompetent coaching staff anymore. The problem won’t be fixed until MLSE is gone.

Toronto FC Off to Another Flying Start (AKA Please Be Gentle, Santos Laguna)

After the incredible high of eliminating the Los Angeles Galaxy from the CONCACAF Champions League two weeks ago, Toronto FC has come crashing down to Earth quite quickly. With two league games gone, we’ve lost starting GK Stefan Frei, starting defensive midfielder/makeshift centerback Torsten Frings, and our opening matches by a combined score of 6-1.

The defense, something Aron Winter is either blatantly neglecting or doesn’t seem to know how to fix, is a complete shambles. Ty Harden should be nowhere near a starting lineup and yet he has found a home in ours and currently has an own goal to his name coupled with an embarrassing goal vs. Seattle in which he was turned around by Alvaro Fernandez. The rest of our backline includes Ashton Morgan, Miguel Aceval, and Richard Eckersley. Ouch. Aaron Maund also got a game in and he’s not even 23. That’s a ton of inexperience whether through youth or just playing for TFC in general combined with the disaster that is Harden. Unless Adrian Cann is competent after he returns from injury, this defense looks like a lost cause for a 6th season running.

Of course, this is also a plea to Santos Laguna, TFC’s next opponents in the semifinals of the CONCACAF CL, to please not kick our ass all over the place over these next two legs. The Mexican club decided to smash the Seattle Sounders’ face in 6-1 in the 2nd leg of their quarterfinal matchup, and won 7-3 on aggregate. Seattle is one of the best teams in MLS. Toronto FC is not. They might get a lucky draw on Wednesday as it’s at the Rogers Centre, but I’m not feeling confident beyond that.

So please Santos, we as TFC fans have suffered enough, the last thing we need is a reminder as to how terrible this club is run and how many more rebuilding projects we’ve had to endure.

Acceptable scorelines include 2-1, 2-0, 3-1, and even 4-2. Once we approach 5-0 or 6-0 then it’s gone too far. Ya got that? We can’t keep having reality hit us in the face so much.

Nothing Happened From March 7th to March 8th

Toronto FC did not piss their pants in front of the largest crowd in franchise history. They did not blow a 2-0 lead against the evil Los Angeles Galaxy and sit on it to the point where they predictably gave up a last minute goal to tap-in expert Landon Donovan. The final score was not 2-2 and away goals in the CONCACAF Champions League knockout stage do not count as double.

Manchester United did not waste everyone’s Thursday by crashing to another European competition defeat at Old Trafford, this time against Athletic Bilbao. There was no clear offside on Bilbao’s 2nd goal and United did not give up 3 goals for the millionth time this season. Like CONCACAF, UEFA does not have an away goals rule in either the Champions League or the Europa League. The next game in Spain won’t be a total slaughter after the mediocre midfield gets torn to shreds again.

Washington Huskies basketball did not just become the first regular season winner of a major conference to plunge themselves straight into the NIT. Oregon State, a weak 18-13 and 0-2 in the regular season vs. Washington, did not go up by 15 at one point in the 2nd half. The Huskies did not go 12-26 from the line, including freshman Tony Wroten Jr. missing four free-throws in a row, when making two at either time in the game would’ve given Washington the lead. Lorenzo Romar did not fail to prepare his team away from home for the umpteenth time in the last few years. Darnell Gant is indeed having a good senior year. Today did not happen and I expect them to be in the semifinals tomorrow.

The night of March 7th and all of March 8th does not exist. It has been wiped from the history books and I’m not hiding sharp objects for the impending doom that is Washington’s inevitable tournament exit (in whatever they’re in), Toronto FC’s defensively-challenged season, or Manchester United’s trophyless season. None of this is true and I will continue to reject reality even as I see it happening right in front of my weary eyes.

I’m so confident today and yesterday didn’t happen, that this post, seemingly written today and in full view of anyone on this blog, has actually been dated March 9th in my official records.

How to Salvage a Lost Season and Make it Awesome

Forget the Seahawks, Tony Romo, Tom Brady, Kerry Collins, and this version of football. Admittedly the “Seahawks” part rendered me incapable of writing about that incomprehensible mess of a game. Toronto FC suck. They’ve sucked since day one and my patience as a fan has worn thin. They entered the weekend 4-12-12 with 0 road wins in Major League Soccer. So how do you make a lost season worth something? Beat the lowest level of humanity known as the Columbus Crew.

Philadelphia Union 6 Toronto FC 2

Goals scored by Philadelphia in 10 MLS games: 8

Goals scored against Toronto FC in 90 minutes: 6.