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BIG NEWS: I’ve Been Kidnapped, Tortured, Starved, and Forced to Work For Bloody Elbow

I didn’t expect this, but I was offered a writing position at Bloody Elbow, the premier website for all things MMA and cat GIFs, and accepted it late last night. For a long time I’ve been cross-posting articles from here to their fanpost section and vice-versa, but now I’m staff and I have to say, the marijuana and free hookers in the staff lounge are tremendous perks.

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2012 NFL Season – Week 17 Picks

A 12-4 record last week has me pretty pumped to close out this season.

Oh, the Seahawks better win tomorrow. Now that Richard Sherman is no longer suspended, I want the NFC West title now. Let’s keep this remarkable 2nd half of the season going. Well … never mind. Arizona will get shutout by San Francisco and I’m so confident of that as sad as that is.

My picks are below as well as the playoff matchups resulting from my picks:
Lions over Bears
Texans over Colts
Bengals over Ravens
Eagles over Giants
Falcons over Buccaneers
Saints over Panthers
Steelers over Browns
Bills over Jets
Titans over Jaguars
Chargers over Raiders
Broncos over Chiefs
Patriots over Dolphins
49ers over Cardinals
Seahawks over Rams
Packers over Vikings
Redskins over Cowboys

Playoff matchups:


#6 Bengals vs. #3 Patriots
#5 Colts vs. #4 Ravens

Byes: #1 Texans, #2 Broncos


#6 Vikings vs. #3 49ers
#5 Seahawks vs. #4 Redskins

Byes: #1 Falcons, #2 Packers

Happy new year, everyone!

2012 NFL Season – Week 16 Picks

Just win, Seahawks. That’s my only Christmas gift request. I’m in Delaware, I can’t see you guys play as much anymore, so NBC getting this game is likely my last chance this regular season. Do not blow this!

Falcons over Lions
Packers over Titans
Steelers over Bengals
Cowboys over Saints
Colts over Chiefs
Dolphins over Bills
Chargers over Jets
Redskins over Eagles
Bucs over Rams
Panthers over Raiders
Patriots over Jaguars
Texans over Vikings
Broncos over Browns
Bears over Cardinals
Ravens over Giants
Seahawks over 49ers

2012 NFL Season – Week 15 Picks

Currently in Delaware on a temporary library pass, but don’t worry, I’ll squeeze my NFL picks in before I disappear off the virtual world for another few days….

Went 1-0 picking the Bengals on Thursday.

Giants over Falcons
Packers over Bears
Redskins over Browns
Saints over Buccaneers
Rams over Vikings
Broncos over Ravens
Texans over Colts
Dolphins over Jaguars
Lions over Cardinals
Seahawks over Bills
Panthers over Chargers
Steelers over Cowboys
Raiders over Chiefs
49ers over Patriots
Titans over Jets

2012 NFL Season – Week 14 Picks

This is my last week in Seattle. Really. I’m leaving the state early Wednesday morning and will likely be without internet access through the weekend. So in the meantime, here are my week 14 NFL picks (1-0 with the Denver win so far), completely devoid of upsets.

Bills over Rams
Falcons over Panthers
Bengals over Cowboys
Browns over Chiefs
Colts over Titans
Jets over Jaguars
Bears over Vikings
Steelers over Chargers
Bucs over Eagles
Redskins over Ravens
49ers over Dolphins
Giants over Saints
Seahawks over Cardinals
Packers over Lions
Patriots over Texans

2012 NFL Season – Week 13 Picks

Last Week: 11-5

This Thursday: 1-0

The Seahawks are playing a 10 AM road game against a good team. Yeah, they ain’t winning. But what do I know? I’ve picked against my favorite team only 4 times (vs. Arizona, vs. Carolina, vs. Packers, vs. Jets).

On another note, ESPN have treated this Jovan Belcher tragedy so poorly. The very basic details show he killed his girlfriend, killed himself, thereby orphaning his infant daughter. That’s not worthy of some sort of tribute like they’re doing right now on Sunday Countdown. The “murder” part in murder-suicide is fairly important, and glossing over it is irresponsible journalism, but this is after all an irresponsibly bad TV network.

Anyway, here are the picks….

Bills over Jaguars
Pats over Dolphins
Texans over Titans
Lions over Colts
Packers over Vikings
49ers over Rams
Cardinals over Jets
Panthers over Chiefs
Bears over Seahawks
Broncos over Bucs
Ravens over Steelers
Chargers over Bengals
Browns over Raiders
Cowboys over Eagles
Giants over Redskins

2012 NFL Season – Week 12 Picks

A dynamite 12-2 week 11 plus a 3-0 Thanksgiving has me feeling pretty good about my prognosticating abilities.

I put a lot of thought into most of these picks, including why a clearly inferior Miami will beat the Seahawks. It’s simple, whenever the Washington Huskies football team gags, the Seahawks pretty much follow suit. Do you like Murphy’s Law? This is what will happen today. I expect the Seahawks to either get a big lead and gag it or come out flat and fail to rally from an early deficit. Watching Washington inexplicably lost to Washington State on Friday has forced me to pick against the Seahawks because that’s how Seattle football works, people.

I know, that was almost like a Bill Simmons type of reasoning but without random 1980s and 90s pop culture thrown in. But yeah, go with the Dolphins even against all logic.

Bucs over Falcons
Bears over Vikings
Dolphins 19 Seahawks 15
Broncos over Chiefs
Colts over Bills
Browns over Steelers
Bengals over Raiders
Titans over Jaguars
Chargers over Ravens
49ers over Saints
Cards over Rams
Packers over Giants
Panthers over Eagles

2012 NFL Season – Week 11 Picks

8-5-1 last week, 1-0 to start this week.

The best part about no Seahawks football on Sundays (and there aren’t too many reasons)? I’m watching NFL RedZone all day because there are maybe 3 interesting games all morning and afternoon before Ravens/Steelers tonight. It will be great enjoyment.

I’m short on upsets this weekend, with only Carolina over Tampa Bay as my upset pick.

Falcons over Cardinals
Panthers over Buccaneers
Packers over Lions
Redskins over Eagles
Cowboys over Browns
Texans over Jaguars
Bengals over Chiefs
Rams over Jets
Saints over Raiders
Patriots over Colts
Broncos over Chargers
Ravens over Steelers
49ers over Bears