UFC on FOX to Deliver Unpredecented Coverage (Satire)


With the gigantic news of the FOX networks striking a deal to broadcast UFC content over the next 8-9 years starting in 2012, you can expect UFC broadcasts and how the sport is viewed in mainstream to be radically changed for the better. My sources who are “in the know” on all things FOX say you can expect the following in 2012:

– YOU be the judge. That’s right. All main card bouts will feature two normal ringside judges and then you the viewer vote for the fighter you think won the fight. Example, if Rory MacDonald vs. Dong Hyun Kim goes the distance, during the break you will have a five-minute texting window to vote for who you think won. Instead of providing a score you will simply text a certain number on your screen to choose MacDonald, and then a different number if you believe Stun Gun was victorious. In the event of a majority draw, Chuck Norris will be the 4th judge to officially declare a winner. Draws are for soccer-loving pussies. So many sports get the fans involved and the UFC plans to be the first ever organization to decide the outcome of a match.

New commentary team of Gus Johnson and Dennis Miller. The UFC did have to sacrifice control of their announcing crew. Needless to say, FOX has an MMA expert in Gus Johnson to provide the blow-by-blow, and FOX News regular and comedian Dennis Miller will provide analysis and jokes. Joe Rogan is a little bit too liberal and politically incorrect for their tastes, but FOX plans to keep the role of having a comedian/sports fan as the color analyst. Can you imagine the awesomeness of Gus and Dennis together?

Gus: “Oh and that elbow by Ben Henderson opens up a huge cut on Gray Maynard’s face. It is bleeding profusely. Crowd here at the Shank Tark anticipating a finish now!”

Dennis: “Yeah Gus I haven’t seen this much one-sided savagery since the Greeks destroyed the Persians in the Battle of Plataea.”

Endless fun!


Extensive and informative pre-fight show. Ryan Seacrest hosts the one-hour pre-event show live on FOX with an expert panel featuring John Salley of Best Damn Sports Show Period fame, Kimo Leopoldo, Tank Abbott, and Michael Strahan break down the night’s action and bring you up to date on all the latest news and information you crave. The first broadcast will have Tank and Michael displaying the differences between MMA and boxing, including the ability to kick.

Frank Caliendo fight night picks. Frank TV may be gone, but Caliendo is still here giving you his impressions and predictions. Caliendo claimed he is glad he’ll get to make fun of Strahan’s gigantic gap between his two front teeth.

Special MMA themed programming. A special edition of COPS will profile Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, War Machine, and Chris Leben. The new season of Bones will have special guest Jon Jones as they discover the remains of a man believed to have died 40 years ago from being stabbed in the back. Lastly, the hit dance show So You Think You Can Dance? will feature guest appearances by these fellas:





The UFC on FOX is simply FOXing awesome!

First written here.


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