How to Salvage a Lost Season and Make it Awesome

Forget the Seahawks, Tony Romo, Tom Brady, Kerry Collins, and this version of football. Admittedly the “Seahawks” part rendered me incapable of writing about that incomprehensible mess of a game. Toronto FC suck. They’ve sucked since day one and my patience as a fan has worn thin. They entered the weekend 4-12-12 with 0 road wins in Major League Soccer. So how do you make a lost season worth something? Beat the lowest level of humanity known as the Columbus Crew.

I have a gigantic disdain for all things Columbus Crew. Their loud yellow jerseys, half-empty stadiums, occasionally bigoted fans, and the fact that they always manage to beat Toronto FC. Almost five seasons and TFC had never managed a victory against them. Toronto has done as much as concede a goal to the goalkeeper to find epic ways to lose a match to these jokers. Let’s not forget the ill-fated 2009 season in which they were ahead in Columbus 2-1 before the defense turned into Beavis and Butthead for the remainder of the match and lost 3-2 in stoppage time. Now at least they’ve managed a couple of draws at home against Columbus, but playing at the Crew normally ends in full-out defeat. It was a waste of time for TFC fans to help fill up their place, and a waste of two-hours in general.

September 10th, 2011 changed all of that.

Oh yes. Offensive efficiency, enough defensive play to avoid humiliation, and most importantly, a victory. A 4-2 win over the Crew is not only a potential turning point for this franchise, but one of the greatest wins in club history. Sure this team is not going to the playoffs (again) and will likely have to completely rebuild the defense (again), but for once in their existence they put together a solid 90 minutes on the road.

Everything about this victory was just joyous and excellent. The Crew can shrug it off and say “it’s just one win”, but the sheer gratification of pounding them in their own stadium when they’re clearly the better team……it felt good. It still feels good. Moments like this are priceless.

I haven’t even mentioned beating Jeff Cunningham, easily the worst striker and one of the biggest busts to ever play for Toronto FC.

In a season of frustration, finally getting that win over scum like Columbus was like a prized diamond. And hey, they got a trophy out of it, too!

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