An Apology to the Sonnenites

First written on Bloody Elbow

Dear Chael Sonnen’s hardest of hardcore fans,

I’m sorry for last night. What Anderson Silva did was utterly disgraceful and it’s something I never want to see ever again, especially against the unbreakable fast-learner himself, Chael Sonnen. When Yves Lavigne stopped the fight I was sick to my stomach because of the injustice that took place … I’m talking about the legally defended takedown before the legal dodging of Sonnen’s breathtakingly stupid spinning backfist legal knee to the body, the legal follow-up shots on the ground, followed up by Sonnen legally getting clocked by a right hand (resulting in the first knockdown of his Zuffa career), then more legal punches resulting in the stoppage.

It was sickening to see the sight of what occurred at the MGM Grand. Chael Sonnen, as you all know, is the perfect fighter. Joe Rogan even hailed him the greatest trash-talker in combat sports history, which is accurate like a Tim Tebow pass. His submission defense has since been magically patched up by training with Vinny Magalhaes. Sort of like how anyone can go into Golden Glory and leave with the skills of a thousand Badr Haris. His striking, based on his last fight with Anderson, was clearly more powerful and more accurate than the so-called “champion”. And his ground-and-pound? Worst pillow fight of your life, man. Chael’s ferocious ground-and-pound is hailed in some circles as “Bob Ross furiously slamming his paintbrush back-and-forth against the canvas” and it was evident that Silva was having none of this after getting violently clapped in the first 5 minutes en route to losing the first round 10-2.

I hate seeing Chael Sonnen lose as much as you do, especially when Silva also cheated by grabbing the shorts, which is apparently the only way one can stop Sonnen’s 100% takedown accuracy. This completely affected the entire fight and prevented Sonnen from mounting Silva and boxing his ears off. Sonnen was going to finish that fight if not for Silva’s dirty tactics of short-grabbing and being the better fighter. If we ignore reality, Chael Sonnen is the greatest middleweight who ever lived, and I tend to believe this side of the story. As I’ve learned from Sonnenites, facts are the enemy, which is why I’ve wiped out every loss from his record and the failed drug test. I’m retroactively claiming no-contest because Silva resorted to cheating against the wrestling demigod that is Chael Sonnen.

But all is not lost, my friends. Sonnen just needs upwards of 15-20 more fights with Anderson to successfully lay on Anderson Silva for 25 minutes and you’ll have your champion.

Keep your chin up so that Anderson Silva can hit that, too. There won’t be a next time, because there’s no need for us to see Chael Sonnen brutalize Anderson Silva’s skin with fistbumps and noogies.


– Me.



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